The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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