Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Watching her eat just hurts me
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
