wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
