Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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