It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
so much tequila, so little girl.
He? As in you personified your dick?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
