whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
3pm strippers are depressing
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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