The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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