you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
