five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I said "one day" and that day is not today
where are my eyebrows?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize