So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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