you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
