but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
