My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
