i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
