I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
