people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
