so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
