Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
