i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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