Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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