Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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