Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize