Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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