please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize