that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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