didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
