I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
