We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
