she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
