Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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