This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
