Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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