You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
