i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
