Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
