my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
