i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Randomize
