so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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