all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
