if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
