I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
