Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
