garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
