Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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