u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He better not be in your backpack
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
