You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
