omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize