I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
