I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
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It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
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He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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