can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
