and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
