is your mom at the bar?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
