I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We're too hungover to prance.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
