no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
