belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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