In the future we'll all be gay
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
