But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
