I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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