If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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