3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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