Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
