Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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